Dreameryv2
Guest Dream Provider and Self-Analyst.
Thanks to
Chirobut for having me here.
June 23, 2009
Re-edit: July 13. 2009
I wish to share with you two recent dreams, which permitted interesting
explorations that were in away
disappointing and not useful in locating what I believe to be my problems. Or am I expected to forget about what I think my problems are and just let them unfold without any direction by my
conscious mind? Come on you guys who know tell what I don't see in these dreams.
#1
I am at a
river bank. I am wondering if it safe to wade across. I decide it's not and I start walking a further distance to where a bridge is located. When I see a group of happy children wading across. I feel ashamed of myself.
#2
For some reason I am expected to deliver some papers to an important person at the
convention center. I expected to be able to walk in and do this uneventful. To my surprise the entry was crowded with sullen restless people. I was told I would have to stand in line and wait my turn for a pass, just like everyone else. I started to argue and was told by the man in the line behind me that it was not smart to push this guy for special permission to enter -I shut up, but felt angry and mistreated. My
cell phone rang and I was
censured for being gone so long from work. I pulled myself awake, thinking I did not like this dream.
My dream
presentation opens this way. But
before you accept it as is, I would like you to give some thought, aimed not at me personally but what if these were your own dreams? Can you say you could never dream such banal mood toned stuff? I
characteristically worry about what I may be missing evading or blocking out.
Maybe you can see what I miss-- In both dreams #1 and #2, I see as a reflection of my resolution to begin a serious self-analysis. My cautious nature had led me through
Dianetics,
Dr. Phil's writing's but with only with a minimal acceptance and application to myself of what was being demanded of me by these
authorities.
Dream #1, it was the shallow
river I was afraid of. In dream #2 My expectation of easy admission and privileged passage did not come off despite my good intentions and my compliance only resulted in censure from my work superiors. In the first dream happy children wade across, something I couldn't permit myself to do. In the second dream I no sooner stepped through the door of the convention center when I was in a bad mood atmosphere (my idea of the convention center is one of friendly hand shaking welcome to our civic and
business promotion world etc.
significantly opposite of my dream view.) In the first dream, I am embarrassed by my over concern. The second dream, I feel mistreated, not recognized, frustrated and finally humiliated by
circumstances beyond my control.
In a way I also felt
disappointed by the absence of any whiz bang Freudian distortions, virtually nothing of sexual symbols-no wild transitions- no flying people or cars out of
control- no frolicking babies; only some self disparaging stuff and entry into a hostile place, one strong enough to force me awake. Am I hitting resistance before I really start? Where is the other who will aid me to understand?I know, I must wade the river, and deliver the important papers no matter what fears or obstacles are in my way.
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Give me your analysis, if you care to. Just put '
Dreameryv2' in subject and send to:fateanalysisguy@gmail.com I'd love to hear from you.
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Dreameryv2
May 1 2009
In my previous efforts at Self-analysis during the Dr. Phil ‘Self Matters‘ book use I had made a list of my strengths and weaknesses. How embarrassed I am now when I look over all the lists I made then. Wow! was I kidding myself! I had entered that I had had no baggage from my childhood, that my relations to my family as totally exemplary (I had forgot to ask my mother about this point-which I won’t go into in public.) (I had bragged to myself and the image of Dr. Phil which redefines by watching his show regularly -moved like a mirage just ahead of me as I worked my way through the inventories there. It was a good thing I saved my answers, and now have them to face. Seeing now where my self-analysis is taking me. How could I have so rewritten the actual facts of my life, even bragged my compulsive neurotic quirks were to be envied by the world.
What brought this into focus was a major disruption in my family constellation caused by my (opps our) daughter leaving home with the help of her boy friend. And with a polarization within my family resulting, one where my parents and my usually supportive husband appear to object to such things as dragging her home bodily. They tell me to shut up, leave the kids alone, and never mind any talk of reaction formation. I guess they are being sensible and I am not. (Note this reluctance to accept their position.) Needless to say, this disrupts my systematic self-analysis procedures to the point I can not think of anything else. How could I have not seen this coming? How could my own parents and my husband view it so differently than I? (This and worse runs through my mind over and over).
Should I discontinue my self-analysis procedures? Is there anything to be gained while I am so upset?
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[Here Chirobut "Forrest" offers an answer.}
On the whole, there is no need to worry too much about outside interferences. You are realizing some aspects of your somewhat idealized view of yourself and not being totally realistic. Certainly give yourself time to cool off, try to see your daughter view, as well as the views of others in your family In most cases when decisive outside events deflect the course of analysis it is only for a short while. Unproductive sessions may happen, yet at some point you will get back to the deeper personal problems, if only you stick to the spirit of the analytic process. Since most experiences can elicit a number of different responses, you can come to see a side of yourself that connects closest to the problem at hand. Hopefully you will touch deeper content and thereby be able to retrieve more threads to follow, some of which may be painful or which you would prefer to abandon or keep repressed. If you put off a few sessions it does not matter. It is useful to keep writing down your dreams during any breach of your contract with yourself to self-analyze. Thus when you restart you have many new starting points. Interrupting your elf-analysis should be recognized as being a resistance and reviewed questioning such as “What is the nature of my resistance?
–The editor, Chirobut adds some encouragement
Just put ‘Dreameryv2'- in the subject and send it to fateanalysisguy@gmail.com I would love to hear from you and to share dreams and self-analysis with you.
Your friend–
–Dreameryv2
March 12, 2009
Reply to March 6m 2009 (Below)
In a comment intended for me, [DREAMERYV2] from a reader who asks: HAVE YOU LOOKED INTO L. RON HUBBARD’S BOOK
“SELF ANALYSIS”? (This with the suggestion that this might be the right thing for me.)
THANK YOU READER, for your concern, as matter of fact I bought the hard cover $45.00 book and found it has a lot to recommend it. The writing style was smooth and I was introduced to the more complex concepts without going beyond my personal understanding level. I was surprised to discover that just like Dr. Phil McGraw, he introduces you to yourself via the use of personal inventories. The first of which a very large intimidating table, aimed at locating yourself in it. What was, as it seemed to me, to be on a life survival continuum. Certainly this is a unique way of getting a handle on where you are in life. The next several inventories works by questioning yourself from a list of questions. The questions do not resemble those cognitive grounded ones as found in Dr. Phil’s book, instead they appear to me, as aimed at pushing your buttons intuitively. A truly remarkable accomplishment, one that would be useful for many like myself. However this was as far as I went.
Hubbard, replaces the unconscious as a mind affecting force with ‘engrams’ which are formed when an individual is in an unconscious state or condition. Differently, Dr. Phil argues for finding for yourself an authentic self. That also sounds good to me, however he hardly mentions the unconscious at all and asks you review all that formed you over time, by use of his cris crossing inventories.
I did mention I had aberrations, did I not? The first interference of going further was the awareness that to really understand my position on the Hubbard Chart, I would have to attend introductory Scientology Church lectures. The second interference was that to trace back to source my quirks, distortions, aberrations scientifically and effectively I would have to undergo a Dianetic audit with a certified Dianetic auditor. Third interference is my concern of embracing a new religion as the end result. I have nothing against others going the total immersion route. For now, I am happy to borrow bits and pieces from L. Ron Hubbard’s book and Dr, Phil that are useful to me, for my self-analysis without becoming a convert to anything. Am I totally aberrant in taking this position?
I believe there are many ways to self-analyze, some methods may for one person and not for another.
IS THERE ANY GOOD EXCUSE NOT TO TRY?
Good Luck to any who would self-analyze!
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–Dreameryv2
March 9, 2009
Why I Started My Self-Analysis. The maybe irrational reasons I started it.
Filed under: SELF HELP SEARCH, Uncategorized, self-analysis — Tags: analysis, cognitive, DEPTH PSYCHOLOGY, self-analysis — admin @ 3:04 pm
This is my Avartar, [at top page] my user name is “Dreameryv2? at Fateanalysis.com. I am taking this opportunity to tell you about where I am coming from as I take on the mind adventure of self-analysis.
WHY I Started My Self-Analysis. The maybe irrational reasons I started it.
The ideas I had formed over the years, mainly from movie versions of psychotherapists. Dramatically distorted to make some story work. I had come to see one one hand a fictional image of receiving hopeful understanding, forgiveness and painless repair. And on the other hand, there were images of crafty blackmailers, Svengali’s who took your very soul and used it for their own perverse desires. I had fears of things being dug from my lost memories such as mind-boggling sexual fantasies, traces of avarice and hatred, from when I did not get my way as a child. Also I, being for the most part a textbook example of normal-in my own opinion), feared being laughed at for even presenting myself for any sort of counseling or therapy. (I still feel this embarrassment at times.) I had over recent years read some introductory psychology books, including Dr. Phil McGraw’s book “SELF MATTERS”, Subtitled: ‘Creating Your Life from the Inside out –’ I really liked his book. I did his exercise and filled out the inventories that help you profile yourself. These were I felt advanced me in the direction I wanted to go. It was for me a very positive and valuable assistance, at the time. Later, still not totally satisfied, I came to believe his approach, so strictly cognitive and brief, omitted what it was I was yearning to explore in my self. The unconscious that my movie therapists were often referring to. The unconscious of Freud and Jung. Where dreams, fantasies, complexes, repression’s and aberrations are taken seriously. I am a prolific dreamer, I dream every night, I fantasize often, I have a over strong bond to my family, my aberrations are minor, but aberrations nevertheless. After some indecision’s and an Internet search, I stumbled upon FateAnalysis.com where to my surprise, not only was the unconscious the regular focus, but how and why to self-analyze was developed with every new post and on the Blog roll there were links and pages, to other subject related Blogs, even free e-books. This content, and the security of being my very own analyst, made me feel at home on this site and I decided to do it. How to proceed?. I chose to approximate a classical Freudian psychoanalysis, couch, dreams and regular sessions. (You don’t have to go that far, maybe it’s my fantasy thing.) I felt, I could benefit from this more traditional psychoanalytic approach. This was not exactly a rational choice of course, I had seen and responded to this approach in several movies that I had seen. I recall, that at that time of seeing these movies, I had felt some envy and attraction to the thought of being psychoanalyzed by a male analyst. After seeing every episode of “The Sopranos”, I then begin to think maybe a female analyst would be better for me. Also I could not justify the expense and time costs of seeing a therapist professional. I had the feeling I would be laughed at, if the only reason I wanted to be analysed was- I wanted to explore me, as conceived in some old movies.
What the hell. I concluded. Let me try depth level self-analysis.
March 6, 2009 (My First post and I am muddling my way into this.)
