Dreameryv2 May 5, 2010 Black Cats and the DT"S

Dreameryv2

May 5, 2010

Black Cats and the DT"S

May 5, 2010May

Black Cats and the DT'S

There is strong tendency to alcoholism in my family. I think I escaped the family curse only because I married Bill. At a party, I get tipsy on two drinks and as soon as I feel the effects, I know I'd better slow down on the drinks as Bill will say something if I get any degree of silly. I appreciate this and resent it at the same time. My sisters husband, we call 'the alcoholic', really a very bright and nice guy, can't seem to live without getting so plastered that he acts silly and drinks until he passes out. This happens four or more times every week and this has gone for years. A few months a ago this process finally caught up with him and he couldn't go to work and he began to get something like the delirium tremens, where he shook, perspired, had hot and cold moments and finally began to see things that weren't there. I knew something about this kind of thing from when, in my childhood, an uncle and two of my cousins (all musicians) had to be hospitalized for alcoholism. Anyway in this case my sister and I took turns sitting along the side of his bed and talked to him for the several days it took him to detox at the hospital. He told of seeing hats floating in space access the room, heavy rain, wind. snow and many cats. He was perplexed when we said we saw none of these present. I recently heard from my sister he was again in bad shape and in the hospital again. I feel bad that I can't leave my work and return Midwest to help her in this crisis. All this has some connection to my dream. As one of his cat hallucinations was that a black cat came into the room, stood on its hind legs and took off its fur, just like taking off a fur coat, and stood there looking at him. Also during this in hospital stay he was incredibly sarcastic to everyone trying to help him. In my dream I believe I replace the alcoholic patient with my brother who is not alcoholic as the dream actor, dreams do twist things around, My dream is, my brother and his wife and I was somewhere where, we had two cats and they both had black fur. There were two old ladies who were trying to catch the cats and kill them because of an edict that cats weren't supposed to have black fur on them. I (somehow had to save them or do the ordered act to kill them.) I shaved all the fur down to the skin off of one to save the cat from the edict but could not do this in time for the other cat so I hid it. However, the old ladies kept hanging around and I had anxiety over keeping the other cat hidden. Then there was a man and a woman that came to the house. They were some kind of inspectors to check on something suspicious, dangerous or illegal. I fear being involved either way, animal cruelty or evading the edit. The old ladies now very upset go and hide from the inspectors. We (Brother, his wife and I) were in a little cottage by the ocean and the ocean was a beautiful turquoise color and there was a pleasant mist blowing up to the house. I see this as the opportunity to take the cat and to get away. They all followed me. I was far ahead of them. I ask a boy that I meet just outside of the sight of the others for a razor to help me, but he had been swimming and had on only his swimsuit. He did some search and found a knife and he and I, cut a strip cut down the cat's back. My brother came running up and I could also hear the old ladies also coming. I told the boy we'd never get it done in time and he said to peel it off since I had a start. So I skinned the cat and it had pink flesh, just like a baby. Then the boy that helped me then sat a little ways away and he said for me to "come here!" I wasn't going to go, but he sounded urgent and I decided to. Then some man (not sure if it was my brother) said "Well I never thought I'd ever see a cat in June do that" (I, in the dream) Took this to insinuate that, he himself, would have never have obeyed any such edict or sought to evade it without giving a sarcastic reply.




If you have comments or an analysis of this dream, contact me at: fateanalsusguy@gmail.com Put :”Black Cats and DT'S” in the subject!

Dreameryv2 February 21, 2010

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dream Analysis. Dream analysis seems to have lost it's attraction for psychotherapists today and recommending it for self-analysis seems almost a crayzy joke. Yet- here our would be self-analyst shows us with charm and advancing insights, that it works for her.

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music and booze fueled family.

Cats real and fictional enter my dream world often. I have had dreams of a taking cat who acted to guide me from out of imprisonment imposed on me by an old woman. Also one of a tomboy like "Puss in the Boots" and recently one, out of the cat and the fiddle story who appeared and astonishingly rapidity played the country style fiddle duel, "Daniel and the Devil's Pact" (Charley Daniel's Band)) {not sure of the actual song title but its story implications are clear enough. It is that my subconscious is saying I've made a bad bargain with the devil-my associations run to the thoughts of coming from a musical family, where as a child and young adult music, dancing, singing, drinking and fighting was what the adults do. And which appeared to be that which was the joy of their lives. It also led to broken hearts, stupid relationships, divorces and despicable behaviors. Their levels of interactions had very high and then very low mood swings. My husband, Bill is quiet, thoughtful, hardly every drinks. He does not seem to desire the wild life at all. Logically, he is a good husband. When we have a small dispute it is almost always over my poor handling of money, When this happens he call me a financial idiot and I strike back, that he may be right, but that when it comes to music, it is he who is the idiot! Last night, I dreamed I was back at my old school's music department and I was explain to my friends that I would not be coming back. Because I was accepting a profitable, but non music related job, which pleased my husband, whom I said frowned on working for nothing, (as was the usual rule in the music department.) They all laughed, as they knew that was their fate. As I left the building one of the pet cats that had been there for years followed me because it liked me so well. Apparently the cat was the mascot and good luck piece for the nusic department. I petted it and told it it was needed there and had to stay. Back home I somehow learned that a series of bad luck events had occured at the music department. Teachers had been fired for inaaprprate affairs with students, a fire distroyed the music hall and the senior music professor had colon cancer and was not expected to live. The schedieuled perforances had consquently been cut in half. There was a message, I didn't fully inderstand, about a dog that was attacked and killed by a hungry mountain lion in front the school. Some how I was expected to feel guilty or responsible for this. But I did't really feel that way about the news.

If you have comments or an analysis of this dream, contact me at: fateanalysisguy@gmail.com Put : "Fiddle cat Mascot cat" Dreams” in the subject!

Dreameryv2 January 5, 2010 Christmas Time, makes me dream crazy. Gender Switched Spy Chaser

Dreameryv2 January 5, 2010 Christmas Time, makes me dream crazy. Gender Switched Spy Chaser.

Dreamerv2 at Christmas Time I guess I am unusually sensitive to holidays. I seem to dream a lot over holidays but usually in intermittent bursts, sometimes re-running parts of old dreams, day remembrances, and often ones. which carry hints of threats and obvious warning signals. As as hard as try, often I can I remember only bits and pieces of these dreams. For the standpoint of analyzing them, this creates disjointed content, which are difficult to connect from one fragment to the next one. Sometimes identifying the common recognized symbols is the best I can do. When this happens, I feel very let down and not inclined to share them. The group below is an example. But maybe you can get things from the mix that I am blocked from. #1 Had a dream about Christmas and the Day's happenings, and at Berkeley [student unrest over fee hikes?] Some how the Berkeley events caused concern and cast an anxious mood over my families preparations for a family get together. [Pretty vague here and I have no special connection to any Berkeley university students other than what shows in the news.} #2 [also] had a dream later that night about Christmas-that I can't remember, at all. [I think it had a better mood than the first one.] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Next night Dec 23 #1 Had a big long dream but all I remember is I was going out for dinner with my folks, my sister and her husband, and two little girls. Everyone was ready to go, but me. I was somehow was taking too long. I was insistent on going around and check everything to make sure everything was locked up. My family was markedly irritated at me. I remember an other part too- outside the house was a big body of water (in obviously not Dec 23 weather) in which there were two men and a girl besides me in this water. We had something like rubber wings to help us float there. Anyway the fellows were showing us where all the sharks were and said that we should stay away from them. It seems to me somewhere in dream there was a huge snake eating a dog or something. There was also something else eaten by something. #2 My dream changed or was a new dream -I can't be sure--to one where I was sitting somewhere at a dance I was talking to a boy. We started dancing and then somehow it was I was married. I had my wedding band on . Everyone was looking at it with admiration and then I was dancing and talking with one of my girl friends. Then two of the girls started dancing the Charleston -showing off and holding the attention of the crowd, so I and my friends went over and sat down, After that I woke up. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - December 24, #1 Someone came over with a spider (This was unpleasant to me.) They were for some reason going to hypnotize me and psychoanalyze me. Later it (the spider) turned into a doll. [Much easier to accept] I think I was un-hospitably and they gave up the effort. #2 (Still loosely part of the previous night's dance and wedding theme.) Then my girl friend and I went out. While we were out we had all kinds of telephone calls. One was from Fred B. he wanted to come over and see my wedding pictures. He said he would come over at noon the next day. Fred was working his way through college and he was working in the cafeteria where I went to eat. [Fred is a old family friend and graduated from collage many years ago and never worked during college or had any connection to any cafeteria I ever ate at.] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - December 25, In night after midnight. #1 I was on an island somewhere with a lot of other people. There were of lot of houses, but they were only like stage props. When you'd walked into a house you'd walk into the side of the huge mountain that consisted of most of the island. At the top of the mountain one could look over and see Russia. We could see there was a big outdoor theater where orchestras performed, etc. Also we could see a couple of schools and some other buildings. I can't remember what they were now. Anyway there was a Russian army officer, hiding at the top of the mountain and he was was watching every move we made, Then he would report it across the water to the Russians. There was, in our group. one girl that knew he was there. She was in love with him and would do anything to keep him from being discovered and being taken away. There was at least one other man who knew about the Russian at the top (I was the a man at this time)[I was aware of an liked the gender switch in the dream.] I was the first to recognize that something was going wrong. I saw a small star like light flashing a couple of times and wondered what it was. I was going to climb the mountain and find out-as to be on the safe side. However the amorous involved girl always distracted me one way or another. Somehow I knew the purpose of our being on the island was to see if we could get a rocket to the moon for future military use and the process was in progress. We finally did and got back little pieces of crystallized glass,[that we understood meant] yellow for the bright side, black for the dark side and a combination of yellow and black for the side that half light and half dark. This was somehow an important discovery we were to keep to our selves and not permit transmission of to the Russians. Shortly after this information discovery, the Russian spy with the help of the amorous girl started to get rid of all of us who knew of his work here. He stuffed medicated pills in my mouth and those others in my party and tied us to surf boards to set us floating in the bay, where we would be no threat to him or his mission. However our supply man who was climbing the mountain some distance behind us came to our rescue. The Russian officer who was trying to get rid of us [He looked like, Bob O, a salesperson at work who is too helpful, and radiates sexual intentions whenever he gets close to you.] In the dream It seemed really clever the way the officer, had everything all rigged up to blow up when that was needed. However his plan didn't work. Quickly all of our people were evacuated over to another island where they would be safe, Then, a chosen few of us went back to the island. {I think I am still male role acting in the dream} Then some things happened that somehow established an ending to the dream. but I don't remember exactly what. [I guess it was imprisoning the officer and his girl friend.] #2 After some transitions I dreamt, I was walking in the snow down the main street of my hometown. I was going somewhere to get my father something - [my association later was a tool he needed for work, a medicine for a cold he had, a gift for mother, sister or me.] I didn't remember anymore- I woke up.

If you have comments or an analysis of this dream, contact me at: fateanalysisguy@gmail.com Put :”Gender Switched Spy Chaser Dream” in the subject.

Dreameryv2 December Post 2009 1) Man in the closet. 2) Fire, panic at Big Store. 3) Giant Elk at shoe store.

Dreameryv2 December 4, 2009 1) Man in the closet. 2) Fire, panic at Big Store. 3) Giant Elk at shoe store.

------------------------ Dream 1: There was a man who was hiding in backspace of my closet. [Somehow, it was that] We were to tun away together. We went down to the train depot and while we were waiting for our train, I ran into some of my girl friends. I tried to avoid them because I didn't want to see us. A police officer came by and looked around and passed on without incident. I feared I had been reported kidnapped. Our train to Omaha had already gone, so we decided to go to San Francisco (Hundreds of miles further.) When we got on the train and as the conductor neared to collect our tickets, my husband, Bill somehow appeared and wrote a check for both the man and me, and then left. We, (the Closet man and I) had taken a piece of luggage with us that was supposed to be worth $100. We also had brought some pieces of metal that were negotiable, which somehow in the hurry and anxiety involved; I forgot when we got on the train. On the train was a Negro man carrying musical equipment, seated near by. He gave the conductor cash for the fare in a friendly exchange. The conductor then took our check. I feared he might not. But he did. I was aware we had not done this smartly, and now had very little cash to go on. Dream 2. I recall that earlier the same night, I had had another dream. Something about panic when along with the smell of smoke, and a fire alarm ringing loudly. We were running out as part of the crowd escaping from this big store building. Somehow, I knew it was supposed be a Catholic Church. Dream 3. A few nights later. I dreamed that Bill and I was decorating a Christmas tree then we went shopping. However, not downtown as we ended up in a small town and in some shoe store. The clerk was having some problem with the little fitting bench that shoe-men sit on to help you find the correct fit. While I was participating in the fitting activity, there was a commotion outside. Bill in the meantime had gone elsewhere. The cause of all the excitement was a deer or elk- I don't know which it was-but it was huge I'd say 3 or 4 times larger than a regular elk. Suddenly my mother was standing beside me and she said she had never seen such a huge animal. When everything quieted down, I went to another larger store. I recognized that it was here the fire alarm had gone off. I have dreamt about this same department store before in several of my dreams. ----------------------------- Comment: At first reading you might read this a desire to run away with some romantic hunk, and that Bill coming from nowhere to pay for me to go, is that I think he'd be happy to see me go. This puzzles me as we have had a stable and mutually supportive relationship for two decades. A time spanning our daughter's growth to maturity and who finally did run off with some man, but even that was a couple years ago and has worked out well. I have come to enjoy her once a closet affair person as if my own son. I am not a very systematic self-analyst or dream analyst or specially gifted or I would have caught on to the fact that dream was about the different kinds of love that Bill and I have in respect to our daughter. Bill on the surface is a money watcher, checks every sales slip, reads every word. of every contract and always knows what he is talking about, in such matters. In the dream, is it that I am asking; would he whip out his checkbook and pay the freight for me to run off on a basis equal to our daughter? A clue is the negotiable metal I failed to bring on to the train. As I was so in such a twitter that I left it behind stupidity, a self punishment act and the panic anxiety then, that before reaching California we would be broke. Never would Bill let that happen to our daughter, and do I unconsciously fear that if it was me, he would get let me overextend and suffer. More questions here than answers. I do not systematically psychoanalyze but with this dream, I did my best to take an organized approach. First, I tried to see what could I extract from it using all the tools I have learned up to now. Starting with treating each element in it as a symbol by itself and trying to force everything into symbol logic. This provided some ideas to each element interesting but little in respect to any deeper meanings. I note, this method is not exactly free association but as close, as I seem able to go. I feel some satisfaction in the fact I am going somewhat more 'depth level' than ever before. After a time doing this, a detour of thinking took over, forcing me to test everything against what I had retained from my study of Dr. Phil, and L. Ron Hubbard, both of whom I consider my main mentors. With my mind in this focus set began, the questioning first with Dr. Phil's approach one of making self-inventory lists: Asking my self does any of my dream elements point to items on my list of the ten most significant events in your life? Wow, quite a bit here, even to black musician paying cash without complaint and no anxiety to get where he wanted to go. Since this list deals with my life events, I easily found several items on my Dr. Phil inventories that connected to associations from the dream content. I had the feeling that my awareness was growing some with this approach. Then the process seemed to run dry and I turned to L. Ron Hubbard's 'Self-Analysis' book, and his Hubbard inventory. That places you on a life tone scale. I recalled he was somewhat negative on the value of dream analysis, he suggested that, a more practical way was to follow your mind's time track from the present backward until all aberrations are detected, the effect they have on you recognized, and the original causative events recalled. When understood, these engrams lose their power over you and are re-filed in your memory bank as just normal memories. Consequently, you then have conscious command over them after a successful analysis. (I hope have this close to right. That's what I got from my study anyway.) The first thing I noticed my set of dream episodes had several events that were mixed or vague at to any firm place in time. I conclude that he was right, that for following your time track, dreams are not help much. What about aberrations? As I struggled with the elements, I began to see, vague hints of my aberrations as wife, mother, worker [here the escape desire for romance etc.] and my husband's. [ money/and a permissive/non-permissiveness ambivalence.] and in the last dream, my mother's aberration symbol [the giant elk]. So I conclude, L. Ron Hubbard is right about the lack of time track usefulness in any particular dream. However, that is not the same thing as saying they don't show in dreams.

If you have comments or an analysis of this dream, contact me at: fateanalysisguy@gmail.com Put :”Man in Closet " Dream, in the subject! --Dreameryv2

Dreameryv2 Sstarts her dream sharing.

Under construction and some experimentation- My other post on this page has most my dreams and my brief analysis and what some of what other interoperations readers have send me. I use more than I publish as part of what they suggest is often, a little too personal and I edit out that part.

Nevertheless they, in my mind, are collectively my therapist.

They are so helpful and seem to care for others without any put down! They are the other I hoped for who give their time and greater experience to help me.

I am taking the idea of dreams being useful to self-analysis seriously and really am trying to connect my past and present, my conscious and unconscious.

Thanks,

Dreamerv2

Dreamertv2 June 23, 2009 (1) Crossing stream (2) Convention Center.

Dreameryv2
Guest Dream Provider and Self-Analyst.
Thanks to Chirobut for having me here.



June 23, 2009
Re-edit: July 13. 2009




I wish to share with you two recent dreams, which permitted interesting explorations that were in away disappointing and not useful in locating what I believe to be my problems. Or am I expected to forget about what I think my problems are and just let them unfold without any direction by my conscious mind? Come on you guys who know tell what I don't see in these dreams.

#1

I am at a river bank. I am wondering if it safe to wade across. I decide it's not and I start walking a further distance to where a bridge is located. When I see a group of happy children wading across. I feel ashamed of myself.

#2

For some reason I am expected to deliver some papers to an important person at the convention center. I expected to be able to walk in and do this uneventful. To my surprise the entry was crowded with sullen restless people. I was told I would have to stand in line and wait my turn for a pass, just like everyone else. I started to argue and was told by the man in the line behind me that it was not smart to push this guy for special permission to enter -I shut up, but felt angry and mistreated. My cell phone rang and I was censured for being gone so long from work. I pulled myself awake, thinking I did not like this dream.


My dream presentation opens this way. But before you accept it as is, I would like you to give some thought, aimed not at me personally but what if these were your own dreams? Can you say you could never dream such banal mood toned stuff? I characteristically worry about what I may be missing evading or blocking out.

Maybe you can see what I miss-- In both dreams #1 and #2, I see as a reflection of my resolution to begin a serious self-analysis. My cautious nature had led me through Dianetics, Dr. Phil's writing's but with only with a minimal acceptance and application to myself of what was being demanded of me by these authorities.
Dream #1, it was the shallow river I was afraid of. In dream #2 My expectation of easy admission and privileged passage did not come off despite my good intentions and my compliance only resulted in censure from my work superiors. In the first dream happy children wade across, something I couldn't permit myself to do. In the second dream I no sooner stepped through the door of the convention center when I was in a bad mood atmosphere (my idea of the convention center is one of friendly hand shaking welcome to our civic and business promotion world etc. significantly opposite of my dream view.) In the first dream, I am embarrassed by my over concern. The second dream, I feel mistreated, not recognized, frustrated and finally humiliated by circumstances beyond my control.
In a way I also felt disappointed by the absence of any whiz bang Freudian distortions, virtually nothing of sexual symbols-no wild transitions- no flying people or cars out of control- no frolicking babies; only some self disparaging stuff and entry into a hostile place, one strong enough to force me awake. Am I hitting resistance before I really start? Where is the other who will aid me to understand?I know, I must wade the river, and deliver the important papers no matter what fears or obstacles are in my way.
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Give me your analysis, if you care to. Just put 'Dreameryv2' in subject and send to:fateanalysisguy@gmail.com I'd love to hear from you.

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Dreameryv2

May 1 2009

In my previous efforts at Self-analysis during the Dr. Phil ‘Self Matters‘ book use I had made a list of my strengths and weaknesses. How embarrassed I am now when I look over all the lists I made then. Wow! was I kidding myself! I had entered that I had had no baggage from my childhood, that my relations to my family as totally exemplary (I had forgot to ask my mother about this point-which I won’t go into in public.) (I had bragged to myself and the image of Dr. Phil which redefines by watching his show regularly -moved like a mirage just ahead of me as I worked my way through the inventories there. It was a good thing I saved my answers, and now have them to face. Seeing now where my self-analysis is taking me. How could I have so rewritten the actual facts of my life, even bragged my compulsive neurotic quirks were to be envied by the world.

What brought this into focus was a major disruption in my family constellation caused by my (opps our) daughter leaving home with the help of her boy friend. And with a polarization within my family resulting, one where my parents and my usually supportive husband appear to object to such things as dragging her home bodily. They tell me to shut up, leave the kids alone, and never mind any talk of reaction formation. I guess they are being sensible and I am not. (Note this reluctance to accept their position.) Needless to say, this disrupts my systematic self-analysis procedures to the point I can not think of anything else. How could I have not seen this coming? How could my own parents and my husband view it so differently than I? (This and worse runs through my mind over and over).

Should I discontinue my self-analysis procedures? Is there anything to be gained while I am so upset?

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[Here Chirobut "Forrest" offers an answer.}

On the whole, there is no need to worry too much about outside interferences. You are realizing some aspects of your somewhat idealized view of yourself and not being totally realistic. Certainly give yourself time to cool off, try to see your daughter view, as well as the views of others in your family In most cases when decisive outside events deflect the course of analysis it is only for a short while. Unproductive sessions may happen, yet at some point you will get back to the deeper personal problems, if only you stick to the spirit of the analytic process. Since most experiences can elicit a number of different responses, you can come to see a side of yourself that connects closest to the problem at hand. Hopefully you will touch deeper content and thereby be able to retrieve more threads to follow, some of which may be painful or which you would prefer to abandon or keep repressed. If you put off a few sessions it does not matter. It is useful to keep writing down your dreams during any breach of your contract with yourself to self-analyze. Thus when you restart you have many new starting points. Interrupting your elf-analysis should be recognized as being a resistance and reviewed questioning such as “What is the nature of my resistance?

–The editor, Chirobut adds some encouragement

Just put ‘Dreameryv2'- in the subject and send it to fateanalysisguy@gmail.com I would love to hear from you and to share dreams and self-analysis with you.

Your friend–

–Dreameryv2

March 12, 2009

Reply to March 6m 2009 (Below)

In a comment intended for me, [DREAMERYV2] from a reader who asks: HAVE YOU LOOKED INTO L. RON HUBBARD’S BOOK

“SELF ANALYSIS”? (This with the suggestion that this might be the right thing for me.)

THANK YOU READER, for your concern, as matter of fact I bought the hard cover $45.00 book and found it has a lot to recommend it. The writing style was smooth and I was introduced to the more complex concepts without going beyond my personal understanding level. I was surprised to discover that just like Dr. Phil McGraw, he introduces you to yourself via the use of personal inventories. The first of which a very large intimidating table, aimed at locating yourself in it. What was, as it seemed to me, to be on a life survival continuum. Certainly this is a unique way of getting a handle on where you are in life. The next several inventories works by questioning yourself from a list of questions. The questions do not resemble those cognitive grounded ones as found in Dr. Phil’s book, instead they appear to me, as aimed at pushing your buttons intuitively. A truly remarkable accomplishment, one that would be useful for many like myself. However this was as far as I went.

Hubbard, replaces the unconscious as a mind affecting force with ‘engrams’ which are formed when an individual is in an unconscious state or condition. Differently, Dr. Phil argues for finding for yourself an authentic self. That also sounds good to me, however he hardly mentions the unconscious at all and asks you review all that formed you over time, by use of his cris crossing inventories.

I did mention I had aberrations, did I not? The first interference of going further was the awareness that to really understand my position on the Hubbard Chart, I would have to attend introductory Scientology Church lectures. The second interference was that to trace back to source my quirks, distortions, aberrations scientifically and effectively I would have to undergo a Dianetic audit with a certified Dianetic auditor. Third interference is my concern of embracing a new religion as the end result. I have nothing against others going the total immersion route. For now, I am happy to borrow bits and pieces from L. Ron Hubbard’s book and Dr, Phil that are useful to me, for my self-analysis without becoming a convert to anything. Am I totally aberrant in taking this position?

I believe there are many ways to self-analyze, some methods may for one person and not for another.

IS THERE ANY GOOD EXCUSE NOT TO TRY?

Good Luck to any who would self-analyze!

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–Dreameryv2

March 9, 2009

Why I Started My Self-Analysis. The maybe irrational reasons I started it.

Filed under: SELF HELP SEARCH, Uncategorized, self-analysis — Tags: analysis, cognitive, DEPTH PSYCHOLOGY, self-analysis — admin @ 3:04 pm

This is my Avartar, [at top page] my user name is “Dreameryv2? at Fateanalysis.com. I am taking this opportunity to tell you about where I am coming from as I take on the mind adventure of self-analysis.

WHY I Started My Self-Analysis. The maybe irrational reasons I started it.

The ideas I had formed over the years, mainly from movie versions of psychotherapists. Dramatically distorted to make some story work. I had come to see one one hand a fictional image of receiving hopeful understanding, forgiveness and painless repair. And on the other hand, there were images of crafty blackmailers, Svengali’s who took your very soul and used it for their own perverse desires. I had fears of things being dug from my lost memories such as mind-boggling sexual fantasies, traces of avarice and hatred, from when I did not get my way as a child. Also I, being for the most part a textbook example of normal-in my own opinion), feared being laughed at for even presenting myself for any sort of counseling or therapy. (I still feel this embarrassment at times.) I had over recent years read some introductory psychology books, including Dr. Phil McGraw’s book “SELF MATTERS”, Subtitled: ‘Creating Your Life from the Inside out –’ I really liked his book. I did his exercise and filled out the inventories that help you profile yourself. These were I felt advanced me in the direction I wanted to go. It was for me a very positive and valuable assistance, at the time. Later, still not totally satisfied, I came to believe his approach, so strictly cognitive and brief, omitted what it was I was yearning to explore in my self. The unconscious that my movie therapists were often referring to. The unconscious of Freud and Jung. Where dreams, fantasies, complexes, repression’s and aberrations are taken seriously. I am a prolific dreamer, I dream every night, I fantasize often, I have a over strong bond to my family, my aberrations are minor, but aberrations nevertheless. After some indecision’s and an Internet search, I stumbled upon FateAnalysis.com where to my surprise, not only was the unconscious the regular focus, but how and why to self-analyze was developed with every new post and on the Blog roll there were links and pages, to other subject related Blogs, even free e-books. This content, and the security of being my very own analyst, made me feel at home on this site and I decided to do it. How to proceed?. I chose to approximate a classical Freudian psychoanalysis, couch, dreams and regular sessions. (You don’t have to go that far, maybe it’s my fantasy thing.) I felt, I could benefit from this more traditional psychoanalytic approach. This was not exactly a rational choice of course, I had seen and responded to this approach in several movies that I had seen. I recall, that at that time of seeing these movies, I had felt some envy and attraction to the thought of being psychoanalyzed by a male analyst. After seeing every episode of “The Sopranos”, I then begin to think maybe a female analyst would be better for me. Also I could not justify the expense and time costs of seeing a therapist professional. I had the feeling I would be laughed at, if the only reason I wanted to be analysed was- I wanted to explore me, as conceived in some old movies.

What the hell. I concluded. Let me try depth level self-analysis.

March 6, 2009 (My First post and I am muddling my way into this.)